I remember the frustration of growing up with a Dad who loved to debate everything as much as I did. It was not only torturous for us, but for everyone else around us to listen to the endless arguments, reasonings, astounding logic and sometimes the white lies to get a win. Yet, I still have a great relationship with my Dad and he is one of my best friends. I think it’s because we can both be ourselves, warts and all, and be completely loved, accepted and forgiven at the same time. I have nothing to hide from him, he’s seen me at my best and worst.
I do not remember my Dad saying ‘No’ to many things, it was more a debate about the menial things in life – usually to do with how we spent our time or money. Actually I don’t even remember what those debates were about AT ALL! Plus, I think sometimes I rather enjoyed it.
But no matter how long I debate and reason and apply stunning logic and winning arguments in my head as I wrestle with God, when God says ‘No’ it hurts a lot and I remember it forever. Sometimes, I’ll wait for years to find out why the answer was No and wonder what might have been if I had pushed on ahead despite Him. Other times, I ignore the signs and smack my face against the brick wall that was on the other side of that crossing.
The hardest time to accept it is when there were no signs at the crossroads, I was forced choose a way without a guide and venture on into the unknown, only to find myself at the cliff top thinking, ‘can I get a parachute?’ I just want to be right and I want to be the winner and not fall down or embarrass myself or get lost. If I was always right and never tripped up and fell, there would be no need for a guide or a safety net, no need for a healer or a teacher in my life.
I would no longer require any long debates with my Maker about my life and what shall i do with it. I wouldn’t need Him. If that were so, I would MISS OUT on the best Father daughter relationship ever known, he is always available when I call Him any time of day or night and rescues me even when I should have known better. He GETS me because he made me and he is also a loving Father to all my children – he knows them even better than I do and will be there when I am not able to.
Not only this, but I am adopted by Him to receive a brother and co-heir which is Jesus Christ, who walks beside, or lays beside me when I am knocked to the ground. He picks me up and gives me words of wisdom and shows me how to love even when it hurts, sacrificial love that knows no bounds, this is what He is capable of.
Thank you, Lord.